Because being healthy pays off when you're old while eating delicious food pays off RIGHT NOW!

10 slices of bacon, cut into inch long pieces
6 pounds of boneless kosher chicken
1/2 cup of olive oil
2 shots of cognac
Chambertin wine or if you can't afford it, a decent Burgundy or Pinot Noir
1/2 cup of demi-glace
2 peeled and seeded tomato, chopped
6 cloves of minced garlic
2 tablespoons of fresh chopped thyme
2 bay leaves
6 handfuls of pearl onions
1 pound of fresh white mushrooms
2 tablespoons of butter and 4 tablespoons of softened butter
3 teaspoons of flour
salt and freshly ground pepper

Desalt the bacon by simmering for 10 minutes in water. Sauté the rinsed and drained bacon in a heavy pot with some oil until the bacon is lightly browned. Don't throw out the fat.

Coat the chicken with flour, salt and pepper and sear in the hot fat left from above. Season with salt and pepper, cover and cook for 10 minutes on medium-low heat, flipping the chicken once. Chug the shot of cognac. Pour another shot and chuck it into the pan, then light a propane torch/lighter/light saber and ignite the pan. Shake around until the flames subside WEEEEE!!!

Meanwhile, quarter the mushrooms and sauté in butter and olive oil for a few minutes. Peel the onions by boiling in water for a minute. Score a cross on one end of each onion and sear in butter and olive oil for 2 minutes. Then fill the pan with a 1/2 centimeter of water, cover and simmer for 20 minutes.

Add the demi-glace and bacon to the pot and fill with wine until the chicken is covered. Then, tomato, garlic, thyme, and bay leaf to the chicken and wine then simmer for 30 minutes. If the sauce is too thin, strain into a pot and reduce over high heat. Once the sauce is acceptable, add the mushrooms and onions.

Serves 6 well dressed people.

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leftRepression is the fickle mother of sloppy rebellion. A strong, brave few continue to use heavy cream, butter, rendered fat, salt, sugar, and whole milk. Thank you for joining the Eat Dangerously revolution.